Am I the only one who thinks that searching my car would be a mean and vindictive thing for the cop to be subjected to? I mean it's really dirty.

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Guilty people stay out of jail by keeping their mouth shut.

I would HIGHLY recommend against ANY bumper or window stickers on your vehicles. Don't think that a "D.A.R.E." sticker will protect you or a Police Association window sticker will help, it actually FLAGS the officer to check you out. Don't put political bumper stickers on your car either. You may love Obama, but…

I hope I never get stuck at a party with you.

Never ever admit anything, ever.

I'd have posted this clip, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids...

Lucky for us citizens, cops aren't lawyers. Allow them to search your car and you've allowed it. Tell them no and then have them search your car and your lawyer can at least fight it.

probable cause can be just about anything..

Don't just get rid of them. Kill them with fire.

What is incriminating in saying, "I believe I was under the speed limit."?

That may not always be the best idea. Reaching into your glove box could make an officer nervous, thinking you're reaching for something you shouldn't be. Best bet is always to wait until they ask you for it.

Might I also suggest: SHUT UP. Don't offer extra information. Don't say shit that you think won't incriminate you. If you're in some sort of "arrest zone", just STFU and ask for a lawyer. The cops are NOT your friends. Doesn't mean they're evil, but they really don't have your (a suspect to them) best interest in…

Saving lives, one soul patch at a time.

Why wax? I've used an eyebrow razor for my oldest daughter to get rid of her unibrow when she asked me. Quick and painless.

I can totally picture this. The ball pit is all green, white, and red.

For a second, somehow I interpreted this as Pauly Shore, not Pauly D, and I clicked excitedly to make a "no weezing the juice!" joke.

Ya, that's sad actually.

Hey, look, a condom ad.

"Smush child" has got to be the grossest phrase ever coined. Well done.