Maybe not unreasonable, but unrealistic

Wants and needs change over a decade or moreso a lifetime. If one expects their partner to be an unchanging version of themselves with constant values over 5 decades, that seems unreasonable.

It is not hard for me to be monogamous. Am I inhuman? Monogamy feels "natural" to be, and is nothing like wearing tight corsets or ill-fitting shoes.

If I have children, I want to be a great dad and get them to be the best people they can be, because I had a shitty, narcissist of a father who didn't necessarily facilitate any self-worth for me. I am also old-fashioned, and laissez-faire as shit. So monogamy is an ideal I aspire to. In relationships, I haven't had…

Wow that sounds like you'd need a pamphlet to keep track of. I have often wondered how I'd be able to determine the rules of a relationship that was poly. I wonder how my jealousy would change. I often find that I get jealous when I'm not invited to things. So would I feel sad if iI was part of a triad and they had…

not at all - i am just stating that if you want to separate sex then why stop there and separate everything. At what point does it go from a relationship to just compartamentalized people suitable for a purpose.

I cannot believe any of this. If you are serious you bond - and that bond should be for life leaving out external changes that may interfere. People who cant do this are not truly serious to begin with, so please do not pretend you are. Its as simple as a person who can take one cookie from the cookie jar and be…

There is no problem with monogamy whatsoever. There are, however, a lot of people who are straight-up liars, people who get off on hurting others, and people who committed before figuring out what their wants and needs are.

Extraordinarily monogamous here. I've had friends that were polyamorous, and I didn't shame them for it, or judge them even. They were cool people and were cool with other people not participating in their lifestyle. However, and this is just my observation, but all of them are now divorced/broken up/hate each…

Yep. I wholly believe in the saying "it takes a village to raise a child." The reason families used to live together was so there would be plenty of people to provide care for the children, giving the kids more attention and education. Some of this has been passed to teachers and babysitters these days, which is still…

Anthropology 101 tells us that the idea that children are best raised by a married, sexually monogamous, natolocal couple is an incredibly rare belief in human society. In most time periods and cultural groups children are raised by an amalgam of extended family members, neighbors, other children, employed help and/or…

This is a corporate scam to sell more condoms, and liquor.

Yeah, one thing he's talked about is how realizing that monogamy doesn't come naturally or easily to most people is one of the keys to successfully having a monogamous relationship.

Same story here! I got married at 22 and so many people were telling me that I hadn't slept with enough people yet/hadn't "explored" everything out there enough to be getting married. I just had to reply that we all have our different paths to go down and I am sexually experienced enough to know what I like, thank you…

Really? I'd say sexual jealousy is the strongest argument for monogamy.

The kind of funny thing about the hook up panic was it occurred when I was at the right age to engage in it, but I ended up thwarting my plan of college promiscuity by marrying at 22. I had always imagined myself to not be very into monogamy, but I am surprised by my enthusiasm for it. It turns out I'm the marrying…

Dan sometimes pushes poly in situations where I don't think it's a great solution, but I'd generally agree that the sex talk folks are pretty open to both options.

I actually always liked David Sedaris' take on infidelity, where he compared it to looking for another job while holding down your current one.

I feel like this is where we were with "hook-up culture" about 5 years ago, the idea that it's the only true "normal" and eventually everyone will settle down but if you aren't sleeping with many random people, you weren't fully exploring your sexuality. I know, I KNOW, how trollish I sound saying that (and I know…

I really think the strongest argument for monogamy is raising children. While I don't disagree that there is probably something "natural" or instinctive about mating with more than one partner, I do think there is another instinct to raise a child (even for men) and monogamy is a structure that works for this purpose.