She softened him into a sort of pink dough.

I love my partner so much, but every now and then I will have a moment of, "This is so weird. It is so weird that we are committed to a life together. I have no idea what you are thinking right now. You are a whole other person and a huge mystery to me. What the fuck, humans and society are just so bizarre." And…

I thought the point was that she did know that, but before the wedding she focused on the great things she knew about because of all the anticipation and excitement, and then after the wedding she focused on all the crappy things.

Generally when Black women start dominating a "traditionally white sports" that's when they start talking about the lack of elegance, the lack of artistry, and how now it's all about strength and blablah.

I really enjoyed how "Jammies" was capitalized.

With two kids and two cats, Febreeze (homemade or otherwise) is a lifesaver, even if just to temporarily eliminate odors when visitors come over. Wish I could just Febreeze the kids and cats directly, but Obama.

Include me and my husband in the 'WAY too tired' category. We had a really nice outdoor wedding at his dad's place, which had a pool. It was a beautiful day and the party just went on and on even after the official reception was over.

If her sister is THAT sick, she wouldn't have waited that long to be seen. And if she wasn't that sick, then she doesn't NEED to get seen that fast. There's no excuse for this at all.

Cat and Dog should get together.

"There it is - that furry snake again! I'll get you, you varmint, you can't hide in these leaves forev—ooh, got an itch in m'crotch!"

I don't know why so many cute animal videos insist on music. I'd rather here the rustling, barking, purring, and the like!

I wish there was a website of people telling Koko about any bit of news and then taking pictures of her reacting to them. "Koko reacts to growing ISIS threat."

I get pretty offended when anyone suggests that having a discussion over whether something is humane is worthwhile. It is ALWAYS worthwhile to explore whether something is or is not humane. They are talking about something that might have brought an animal, an emotional creature, distress and whether it could or…

Hoverers are the worst people on the planet. Be ashamed. BE ASHAMED.

#thanksforsayingitforme

I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline

In tough times, I ask myself, WWHSD?

Welcome to the Patriarchy! Unfortunately, we do not have cookies because apparently the patriarchy frowns upon chubby ladies. We do have some vintage Zima, though. Found it in the basement.

hey jude