First Gear:

I have been reading Jalopnik for years and only now did I realize what the “Morning Shift” actually means

My friend bought one of these... twice.

It was bought and stolen in 2001. In 2005 he graduated HS and wanted one again after landing a good job so he searched around. He found one in California in white (his old one was black) but he wanted it. He had it shipped to MA, registered it and drove it around for the summer…

Some of us knew.

This certainly looks like a man who likes Norway

Congratulations, Mr. SmugAardvark, on COTD! I would like to gift you with the finest fried chicken which this lovely man will deliver as soon as he wipes off his tiny hand prints.

This is exactly the kind of slightly lazy, petty revenge that I support.

ESTABLISH DOMINANCE

When a bird poops on my car, I make sure to have chicken for dinner.

“If you catch the bird in the act”

5. Avian-targeted biological weapon

Steps for dealing with bird poop on your car

This works.

I am patiently waiting for the Dodge Aries Hellcat.

I have a dozen of them in my car, have to stop every 50km or so to drain the gas tank before it overflows