It appears to have experienced an anal prolapse.  Somebody jam that stuff back in!

I’m pretty sure most Amtrak passengers are on the No Fly list.

Unsafe by American standards, sure. But in Iran these are considered great for picking-up virgins.

The extra numbers are for mnemonic reasons. This way, a person can set it to their birthdate or some other number that is memorable to them.

your "butt heat pkg" is a guy named Pazzo? Whatever gets you through the night...