There is a difference between saying, “here is some information that can reduce your risk of being raped/robbed/assaulted” and saying it is your responsibility to remain sober to avoid being raped/robbed/assaulted. I believe it is a good idea for people to lock their car doors to prevent thieves from stealing their…

Let Norwood make the kick at the end of Super Bowl XXV.

As I am still traumatized by Buffalo’s four consecutive Super Bowl losses, I would fix Wide Right.

I kinda want one of those. It would go great with my Nirvana t-shirt

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.

HamNo would critique this guys form and discuss how he’s neglecting his core. Then he’d bitch about yogurt for 5,000 words.

To sum up:

Why won’t they feed Tom Brady tomatoes? It’ll make his coat shiny.

My husband cannot throw the ball and fetch the ball.

This is all the proof you really need.

The solution to disproportionate responses by the government to persons of color is not to call for disproportionate responses by the government to white people. It’s to stop disproportionate responses against persons of color.

Meh, these penalties are only fun on a hot mic

It’s been clear over the past few seasons that the Lions work very hard to censor what people can say about them. Specifically, they’ve made it nearly impossible to say things like “the Lions look pretty impressive this year” or “I’ll give up the points and take the Lions.”

I will only sit down to eat Pizza Rolls in 45 roll increments, other then time me and my buddy after some bong hits and frisbee took down the 90 pack in about 8 minutes. This is such a no contest I cannot even believe they hot pocket option was worthy of this challenge. Trivia the worst pizza roll in the world is…

Number of times pizza rolls eaten in my life ~15

He’s a black belt in Hulk Smash.

Palmeiro was immediately awarded a Gold Glove after DHing for one game.

Impressed with their ability to enrich themselves on the backs of others and to exploit a professional hockey player relentlessly, Gary Bettman has offered the Johnsons an expansion franchise.

The decision of who is Time's Person of the Year will likely be announced sometime in mid February in your chiropractor's waiting room.