Didn’t like 9 to 5? Refused to return one of her wigs? More a Loretta Lynn fan?

Yes, that, but also the 16 year old has unlimited access to F1 / NASCAR racing videos on the internet but no one bothers to teach him/her how to put on a seatbelt.

It’s like handing the keys of a Lamborghini to a 16 year old after only teaching them how an engine works, rather than teaching them how to actually drive. What the fuck are these people seriously expecting to happen, and how the hell do they keep managing to rationalize it to themselves in the face of such…

The kids on the playground will be singing “Deen, Deen, rape machine, biggest creep we’ve ever seen,”

Short answer: No.

WOW. SOMEONE NEEDS TO COME GET THEIR GRANDPA!!

Will that mantra bring me any closer to enlightenment?

Just put The Toast on my feedly. I will follow your snarky beautiful ass every where, Jane Marie. (Im outside your window rn - please throw down a bottled water or two so I don’t dehydrate.)

Worst of all? This was the text:

If you have so much money that you have to throw it away on liquor and pre-made food, maybe you should take stock of your life and how you're spending your limited time on this Earth. Maybe you should be donating the money to the homeless or whatever else some other person's values say is a better use of your money…

They aren't clutching their purses, they're reaching for their peppermint spray.

I actually thought the photo of this was a rat trap.

My favorite feature of the Gingerbread Estate is how all of the gingerbread women hold their purses tightly if you add a chocolate cookie to the set