Being rejected by someone you weren't even interested in..does it suck or does it suck?

So, Mr. Smith, before you were stabbed were you wearing a shirt? When the knife pierced your chest did you specifically tell your attacker to stop? When he stabbed you the second time did you bother to say "No" in a firm clear voice? When you walked around being a jerk earlier in the day, weren't you pretty much…

Snap Poll:

How many of you originally thought the man was the groom?

I did.

Sue Ellen Mischke!

And what he actually said about Nicki Minaj was:

Amen. If magazines can't sell with black women on the covers, then the editors aren't doing their damn jobs. This reminds me of comic book writers like MacFarlane whining about a lack of compelling female characters in comics. Shut up and do something about it.

Bro Koan: The sound of one hand fapping.

Yeah! And then carnivals! I don't like carnivals! And laughter! And while we're at it, puppies aren't really all that great!

SEVEN MARY THREE GETS OVERLOOKED BY THE MUSIC INDUSTRY BECAUSE FEMINAZIS DON'T LIKE TO MELLOWLY ROCK OUT.

My loins. They burn for John Legend and his activism.

It's alright. I mean, we fobbed off Piers Morgan onto you guys, we've been expecting some form of retribution for a while now.

Let this be a lesson to you kids. THIS is what happens when you start hanging out with that rowdy antiques dealing crowd.

"Teen bride Courtney Stodden is still tooling around London"

"How would Native Americans feel if someone showed up did a few sun dances, slept in a tee pee and then claims to be a navajo warrior or something?"

ZOMG even the title.

BAM! Nicely done, Rarin Ole Sein.

Jaimie Foxx is Daddy Warbucks???? Oooooh yeaaaha.

"Of course the yellow and black cookies are crushing the helpless, creamy white center. JUST LIKE AFFIRMATIVE ACTION."

What do you mean, I can't join your sorority?

Sadly enough, this will never not be funny to me.