If that throwback jersey doesn’t embody why the Cardinals are so detested, I don’t know what does.

What is that shoulder patch about? Is it a throwback to when the team was located in St. Monster Energy Drink?

Yes. Because that’s the biggest takeaway from this story.

Anyone else think these kids act like a bunch of bitches? Seriously... turning down a guaranteed college scholarship and a chance to play D-1 Football because someone thought you went to a fucking BBQ , was trying to be nice and sent you a thank you note?

Word has it he has already been accepted at Baylor.

Ummmmm, what the fuck kind of seats are those? You may as well sit in the parking lot.

Don’t be sad. Harambe would've wanted it this way. He loved low hanging fruit.

Yea I’m pretty sure that this was more what she meant. But nonetheless it’s a shitty joke and a stupid thing to write. I found that a lot of her tweets make me want to tell her to mind her own damn business.

The Rio pool crew is reading this and is like, “Hey, just be glad the water’s not fucking green.”

As an Olympic swimmer, Lochte has called the experience, “The second most painful Brazilian of my life,”

Downpour or rainstorm. A downstorm isn’t a thing.

You can get hyper analytical, but it seems pretty clear that Bill has mistreated women for a long time and Hillary has done her best to be part of the machine that keeps him clean enough (and in the process rolling over those women) that they can accomplish their political goals in spite of his behavior.

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

Pay him no mind, he’s just salty because we own the moon, and he lives in a country that has flying poisonous crocodiles and no moon ownership.

I’ve had sex in less time than Ledecky’s margin of victory. And just like the Olympics, it happens once every 4 years.

Fuck your politics kotaku.

Nice to see someone so familiar with VLOOKUP.

Too bad he did edit out the column farthest right, labeled, "Current Location Of Body".