Um, can I go now, I need to go blaze with my bros......

Eat shit you Aussie bastard. You live under the protection of our nuclear umbrella and carrier battle groups. Be a gracious little protectorate and shut your pie hole. My comfort and convenience as an American is fifty times more important than your very life.

Are you a foreigner? On a US website? Behave accordingly.

There’s nothing unusual about this margin of victory.

Yeah, so sorry, just saying, if you tie for the gold medal, its not as, well, gold.

Well, they did run a story in which Roseanne Barr shrieks out Hillary’s lies about her emails, so that’s balanced.

Sorry, the religion of peace has earned these kind of profiling stops. We should do more of this kind of aggressive policing.

Please fly back. Please. Tomorrow.

Well, I didn’t have that bet.

I do it but, the “hey” is followed immediately by “you, go turn on SportsCenter and fix me a goddamn sammich.”

I’ll bet you have a really douchey Millenial beard and smell like ass.

That’s a Yinzer sponge bath.

Dammit, how did I wind up on the “most viewed” tab on PornHub?

So, this can be icky but same sex intercourse is okay?

I’ve never thought of trolling in capital letters. Let’s give it a try.

And, here comes the shakedown.

Yeah, well, then you grow up and men buy you drinks and dinner and then ultimately support you so, it more than evens out, you dig?

I would rather get live video footage of any one of the Chicago Bears training staff buying linament than see ANYTHING about trap shooting in my newspaper.

Drone strike.

Je suis tombe et je ne peux pas me lever!