I’d rather not. Kim kan keep Kanye.

It should be Khandelabra, though.

Waiter: “I’m sorry Sir, but the policy is clearly printed at the top of the restaurant menu”

Agreed, but with one small adjustment:

I was keeping it together until “Candelabra Eurospoon.” Then I died.

My guess on what really went down:

Hahahahaha, oh Brayden, darling, did you read that delightful new Bruce Williams column in the daily print out of the internet that one of our several butlers brought us this morning?

I like this one myself

This comment section so far.

I really don’t like anything Murphy has done and I’ve tried (Nip/Tuck, The New Normal, Glee, AHS). I’VE TRIED.

Now I have a Hunger for some Tush. It’s nobody’s Fault. I have Unconditional love for Ri-Ri. She’s The Monarch Dujour (and any jour, really) because of her Fabulous Attitude. And because she looks great in Denim.

Not sure, but I think it involves virgin sacrifice and selling your soul.

How was my summer? Boring and lacking good TV shows!

I’ll thank you not to use the c-word in my presence. Even reading it affects the levels of toxins in my blood.

“there’s no evidence to support the perception he intended to create alarm.”

hahah spit out my cigarette smoke

I keep thinking these posts say NSFW and am disappointed by a lack of inappropriate content each time. Darn that NYFW acronym.

For a second I thought North was also smoking a cigarette.

This is all really important and I’m glad you’re drawing attention to it but please please stop quoting the Environmental Working Group in articles about science and health. They are notorious science denialists who ignore vetted, vigorously reviewed and researched facts in favor of flashy headlines — it’s like…