Do you like stories involving death, romance, resurrection, and penises? WELCOME TO MY LIFE.

Having worked catering for convention-type stuff before, a lot of places will just throw away pounds and pounds of food; I used to have to do it every day.

where's Rawrglicious?!!!

That's like me trying to date.

I once stopped my car in the middle of the street because I was so sure that a hedgehog was crossing in front of me. I waited for a solid 5 minutes (it was 3am, no traffic in a residential area) until I realized a)that's fucking stupid there are no wild hedgehogs in this area and b)it was actually a pinecone.

What I don't see on the list: donuts, ramen, hot dogs, mac and cheese. Cool, I'm good then. Carry on.

You can't spell "Miles" without "lies."

They say kids learning to lie at this age is a necessary step in cognitive development. It signals higher thought processes and their intent is not really to deceive but to tell a story how they see it in their heads.

umm we don't know she was lying. We have yet to hear from Miles or Daddy. #TheVerdictIsNotIn

Why is no one talking about Miles? Where was Miles? Why hasn't Miles agreed to testify? What is he hiding? Did Daddy set this whole thing up?!

"Ask him!" Miles knows what he did.

FREE DONUT KID!!

Shouldn't the Italian Voice just be a bunch of hand gestures?

I had a pet goat named Florence. We lived in town and so our neighbors thought we were crazy. She would stand on neighbors cars and bray or whatever young goats do. The car damage is why we had to give her to a farm (i visited her there—she really did move to a nice farm).