I just want a really big bed with which to lose myself in.

I guess she ain’t feelin’ so good on a Wednesday

This actually applies to a lot of people in my life, and now, to Tom Brady as well. (Technically, this could also apply to Trump.)

Fuck you, Matt Damon

I’ve never liked Matt Damon, and now I have a reason not to.

A bit tardy to the party, aren’t we?

If this doesn’t win, then the Jezebel staff needs to be replaced

My brother does that JUST TO ANNOY ME. For a frame of reference, I am somewhere in the ballpark of a few inches taller and more than 100 pounds heavier than the writer.

You are awesome, and I adore you

*any time in water. I really wish kinja had a consistent edit feature.

Just a shot in the dark here, but does anyone else here also like cold showers? My skin is a super sensitive flower, and hot water dries it out too quickly. Still, I like my shower time :3 any time is water is a good time, though!

I’m an American, and I can’t stand it. I have to be cheerful for work, and it’s maddening. I could get away with not having to be a wannabe Pollyanna when I was a housekeeper (I didn’t get paid enough to smile AND scrub toilets), but now I’m on the concierge team, and smiles are a must. Unfortunately, I have a natural…

My first impression was that it would be something like a more hipster Adventure Time (which, I understand if you like, but I personally do not care for it.) I DVR’D it, and while it struck my intrigue, it didn’t really get my attention until Giant Woman, and then I was HOOKED. The scene where Opal comes out and kicks…

I absolutely love this show!
I feel like it’s one of those shows that can appeal to a WIDE range of audiences. My little brother and I watch it all the time; our favorite episode is Lars and the Cool Kids. We even have our mom quoting Greg-”If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs!”
My boyfriend and I…

Aaaaaaw. I blame the whole incident on on adrenaline rush. I’ve never had any martial arts training, and could probably never do that again. I just wanted them to leave me the fuck alone. Thank you for the compliment, though :D

She always described her adventures like that XD I used to read JBJ books all the time in first grade!

It is okay to send a hug your way? *gives you a jedi hug*

My brother has a picture like that! Except in his picture he has this weird creeper face, like from the Dat Ash meme. He swears up and down that he didn’t do it on purpose