This is the greatest fucking thing I have ever seen.

THIS ONE HAS PICS IT WINS

This was a grand opening/holiday party at a high end tub and tile showroom I was the receptionist for when I was 18. It was my third day.

Ummmm.... that Showgirls shot-for-shot might be the greatest thing I have ever seen, this morning.

"I shall avenge you!"

Well this is an awkward time for me...

Poor little Cotton. I just want you to know that we, your brothers and sisters, are all praying for your safe return.

Jeffrey and Shoshanna sound insufferable. Cotton found a way out, hoping for the life of a coddled only cat, rather than being one of 31. Be free, Cotton.

I sent a telegram to my servants asking them to clutch some pearls and pray for youths.

my fiancée has always been a big fan of Paul Rudd since his Clueless days, so she loves to think of the resemblance*

I have about five true "ghost" stories, and all of them suck. No flaming eyeballs, no rolling heads, no faceless children jumping out from the storage closet under the stairs. This one is a two-parter, and the parts are probably only as related as mud and water:

Goosebumps for DAYZ.

I come down to the kitchen for breakfast on a Saturday morning. My mom and my sister are already up, and they look exhausted. My mom asks, "Did you sleep alright?"

So I told what I thought was the one story I had that was spooky story worthy. But then this happened over Christmas:

I've posted this on Jezebel before but it fits so well here too.

My spouse and I were once doing such a bang up job of sexing that the sofa bed we were defiling folded itself up and put us away. It was sort of frightening.

It was between this and "cool story bro." I chose my meme, I choose my choice!