No one cares about my lady boner, but I’m really disappointed by the lack of intact penises I’ve encountered. I have had exactly one and it was THE BEST ONE. Can I put that on my dating profile? “Uncircumsized men please move to the front of the line.”

Thank you. As a former blackout drinker, seeing something like that on video where you’re “there, but not really there” sounds absolutely horrific. I feel for both of them at this point (without knowing more about what actually happened) and believe her when she said she feels she was violated. The thing about…

(Bonus: a very young Dave Chappelle!)

Have you tried vague, non-direct threats?

I’m going to one-up you on the cute RIGHT HERE

whatever. She still won the popular slope.

In all seriousness, I tried working out to Golden Girls, but it was making me laugh too much so I had to switch to something less silly.

Not too soon (cuz no one died).

The best thing about re-watching a pre-DVR show, even an old favorite, is there always seems to be at least part of an episode, if not an entire one, that you somehow missed, which is a very excellent treat when it pops up.

Here ... on Jezebel. :)

Glad they were found, but that’s what happens when you go skullking around where you shouldn’t be.

It’s too soon to make this joke but...

Judge Judy says when something someone says makes no sense, it means someone is lying.

Lots of comments lately implying that “Trump’s going to get off, nothing’s happening, no one’s doing anything…”

Thanks pal. I really did miss you guys more than was natural or necessary.

HAHAHA I mean you’re not far off — his answer to every question is “throw it away, get a new one. [FRIENDS JOKE]”

Hey friend! Yup, the podcast is coming back, but the column will stay at Esquire. Like when parents divorce and one kid goes with Mom and the other goes with Dad.

Welcome back. I guess this shows we CAN have nice things around here.

Folks who are saying you need to "understand" the request and "explain the consequences" or "redirect to another activity" have no understanding what this is about.
This is for repetitive requests for the same activity, sometimes after a explanation, many times without.
Sometimes a parent answers no simply because…