How do those silicon injections work? I thought butt implants were done with filled pouches, like breast implants. Does the free silicon move around when you put pressure on your butt? Or does it stay in one place?

Mine did! We even had brown rice! But I didn’t go to school in America.

How about we replace coke with kittens?

You know there’s only one way to get rid of turd-roaches like him. (FIRE)

“In the Talmud they say, when that part of the male anatomy is aroused, the brain flies out of the head.”

It’s hard to make friends as an adult woman, I agree 100%, but why is it hard to write some women friends in for her TV character? I don’t watch the show, so maybe I’m missing something?

I think you mean, Hissssss!

Can I get my cat tested for this bacteria to see if he’s part of the 40%? I don’t want to wash my hands after every time I touch him. That’s too many trips to the washroom.

I’m a chocolate snob, so just give me flowers, because I’ll just throw out a box of bad chocolates.

You’re supposed to remove people from a car wreck if it won’t cause danger to yourself. For them, it’s a choice of being possibly paralyzed vs being blown up while waiting for more help.

Is it worth watching?

Your first sentence makes me sad.

I don’t get this brand of Christianity. If I commit a serious crime and “repent” for it afterwards, should I be spared from jail? Is that what they’re saying?

Behold!

Did you know, the cure to a hangover is more alcohol? I’m not saying you should run out right now to a bar to get drunk again, but I am also not saying you shouldn’t.

I’d go with him so I’d have more money left over for crêpes.

This comments section is more disturbing than the article.

You are lucky to have missed the Twilight fad.

In honour of the last Jezebel quiz (that I was sober enough to remember doing), I will name my next baby Maxi-dress.

I haven’t read the article yet but I hope this is satire...