Q: Hi, Siri.
A: Hello, Communist!

She should have told them to stuff the taco full of cocaine, just to mess with the gullible Fox viewers.

Gay people are taxpayers too, and taxation without equal rights seems sort of like taxation without representation.

Good job fucking over the economy (more), Republicans.

Do it but be prepared to be called a feminazi once they realise it's Jezebel.

• The Golden Hour of Confidence and Beauty, according to the results, is the small window between noon and 3 p.m.

How do you not throw up after drinking that much fat and sugar? I like ice-cream, but if I had to drink a Venti Melted Caramel Ice-Cream, I'd be sick all day.

Just admit you like killing things, Markis.

I hope they don't go on television to say "boys-gonna-be-boys."

Parody of Cosmo

More proof

This is so sad and horrible that I started laughing hysterically halfway through the excerpts.

My friend replaces his cats in a slightly creepy way. His cats have all looked identical: female, green-eyed, completely black with white paws. I didn't even know his last cat had died until I picked up the new replacement cat and realized it was smaller than I remembered. He also gives them the same name.

The mother made it worse by spouting off on the internet about her daughter being a 'trollope'. The kid's reputation among her peers is destroyed.

Nothing to do with the testes-cutting, but you should send a picture of your tortilla salad to http://saddesklunch.com/

My grandmother told me the same thing. I do this unconsciously even when I wear pants.

I don't think a girl/woman has to be sexually active to be slut-shamed. Even a false rumour of a girl being promiscuous can ruin her school/social life.

I want to hold his hand.

I get my news from print sources online/on paper, so I don't have to look at the people behind it. For all I know, Callie Beusman, whoever she is, wrote this article while wearing a HelloKitty costume, sucking on a pacifier. (I don't judge, Callie.) When will people learn that the person presenting the news/walking…

I don't think it was the intent here, but the article didn't make me feel any sympathy for the good people of Steubenville. Why do they keep shoving their feet deeper down their throats?