I wouldn't read 50Shades of Crap for the humour, though. It's not self-aware enough for a vegetable.

1) Write terrible fanfiction of terrible book. Promise not to make money off fanfiction.

I actually got more angry over the people who said, "Well, at least I'm reading!"

Write a book this funny and I'd gobble it up.

The trial was going well? I'd been too scared to follow this case, due to fear of flashbacks, but now I want to know exactly why it was going well for this rapist.

American people get thinner as they go up the class ladder, so I'm sure it's not about physical labour.

I'd rather stay silent than wail about a soda ban to reporters. Do these people have no self-respect? Is this the great big tragedy in their lives? WTF?

The message was incredibly touching. Also, very hot.

Someone who needs to prove their manliness the old-fashioned way? By shooting at a tranquilized big cat from a helicopter?

It might have been shock. After my biggest fall in the early days of experimenting with different heel heights, I was kind of too dazed for about half an hour afterwards to do more than nod at people asking me if I were all right (I had a cut on my jaw which I was somehow unaware of).

I think they're actively trying to trip you.

I always thought antebellum meant a period before a war.

Models on Victoria's Secret catalogues do weights so they aren't flabby-thin. I don't necessarily want to look like them, but I'd like to not have weird bunching from loose skin when I grow older.

Bitter, salty, slightly acrid and somehow angry.

I don't think I know a single person who thinks murder isn't also a "crime against nature". What exactly do you want? For VAWA to not exist? I'd like to know what your suggestions are on how to make people stop murdering each other, other than all the laws that have been in place since at least the Ten Commandments,…

That's the opposite of a turn off for me.

Years of liquid/gel liners haven't made me that pro. It's not fair.

I think Swift should be supported, or just ignored. Even if she capitalized off her songs, she's now been the butt of very public slut-shaming/hounding, so hopefully she's started to question her own internalized misogyny. Even if she hadn't, her thoughts might work around to how her songs are reflective of life, but…

She was a kid when she wrote that song. People grow up. Some even become feminists. Holding their past forever against what they're now trying to be seems kind of cruel.