Good news! That was totally Dodger Stadium with some strategically placed Angels logos, so the joke works without the caveat!

HE WAS INCREDIBLE IN LEAVING LAS VEGAS! Let us start a commune for Nic Cage fans on your hill. All the stars!!!

These jokes desperately need a nap.

What food is most eaten while preparing a meal? I feel like I eat more Mozzarella than what makes it into whatever I’m cooking.

And then that motherfucker started talking about me behind my back in that fucking book he wrote. After I paid him all that money...

Rays: where did you learn to leave huge parts of the park unoccupied?

Well yes, that’s how all apologies that don’t involve time travel work.

How about the Warriors go up 3-0 against the Bucks WITHOUT Kevin Durant? He returns for game 4, but the Bucks beat up on the KD Warriors and win the series in 7.  That is the dream scenario.

Mikey: Doubt Life cereal!!! And keep thinking Chex is better!!! Y’all doubters and haters will see!!!

I’m so sick of these atheletes behaving like this.

It’s actually mindblowing to me that people could think otherwise. If the police can use illegally-obtained evidence, they can just openly flout the law and videotape whoever they want, in whatever situation they choose - sure they can’t use it in court, who cares your reputation is ruined anyway. AND they can use the…

But the Patriots have also always claimed that illegal recordings aren’t a big deal. It’s a real pickle.

Looking back, I actually think Trump supporters can draw inspiration from movies like Happy Gilmore.

I’m sadly not amazed that a small town in GA is racist. I am amazed that a 1500-person town has a mayor AND a city administrator and gets out-of-state applicants for that job. I’m pretty sure my neighborhood has more people that that.  

Except for the part where you know the 2 Nigerians flat out admitted that they were paid by him, and you know the video of them buying the mask’s and rope etc. This whole thing stunk from the very beginning, while fucked up shit like this DOES happen no one can pretend it doesn’t, in this case, the actions were so…

I had the same thought. They would SEE Black people, like, on the subway, but that group would have been white. Maybe they’d have had Black acquaintances, clients, colleagues (and even then ... art, PR, and corporate law are pretty white industries), but the core four would 100% have been white.

Right? Like what is Ponytail supposed to do? NOT get paid as much money as she can? I’m assuming there are many factors that explain Ponytail getting twice what Beyonce got, almost none of which have to do with how good either artist is. It’s unreasonable to expect an artist to say well hey wait a minute, I’m not…

I reckon this article is making a mountain out of a molehill. Coachella headliners make huge cash compared to others. The same year that Bey made that 4 mil, Cardi only made 70k for each of her weekends. This also compares Bey being paid last year to Ari being paid this year. Venue gets bigger, makes more money, and…

Wait wait wait. Now we’re paying them to write for them?