I agree with all of this, except the "get her parents' permission." Just stop cold turkey. Do not pass go. Do no collect $200. Just stop seeing her. Date her in a few years, not just when she is "legal", give her time to grow up and finish her childhood. (and 18,19,20 is still a child). If he says he doesn't…

Right? This person comes off as a huge asshole. Money must rule her world. Her life must suuuuuuuuuuck.

Also, "ghetto people"? Really?

Rules for when to say "ghetto"

2 slaps to this snobby bitch for her usage of the word "ghetto". So over that shit.

26 year old and a 17 year old? Uh, gross. No, bro. That's not cool at all. :/

And the message of the poem overall, which seemed to be "if you rape, even if you try to blame the victim, you will get caught and you will get convicted, so don't do it."

Okay, the execution is beyond terrible, but the message is absolutely spot on. "Don't think you can take what you want because you want it." This pretty much sums up the male entitlement at the core of rape culture.

Kind of makes you wonder what marketing ideas were rejected at that brainstorming session.

Good gawd, that boy is pretty.

I'm disappointed that she can't maintain whichever gender she chooses while doing whatever she wants. I am a woman, I identify as a woman, but many of the things that I do would put me into the "masculine" role. I don't do "feminine" things. I do things that suit me. That doesn't stop me from identifying as a woman or…

Rather than "I said Beyonce was stupid and I left," I'm picturing:

Christ this reads like an early 2000s high school student's AIM profile.

Chris Brown has a singular talent for making it impossible to sympathize with him even if he’s recounting a vaguely traumatic incident from his childhood. You know, like that time he lost his virginity to teenage girl. When he was eight.

Someone help me here.

Was "Elisabeth Hasselbeck acting as the 'voice of moderation'" the fifth or the sixth sign of the Apocalypse? Or the eighth? I can't recall.

I've forgotten my mythology . . . .

Well I'm pretty sure a maneater only comes out at night. The lean and hungry type. You'll know her because she's sitting with you, but her eyes are on the door.

Wait, I thought it was women who lie about rape...

Wait, are we just taking this kid's word for it that it was all just made up? Like, once there was any danger of him actually getting in trouble, he was all "Hahahah, JK, guys! I really had you going there, right?" PRETTY HILARIOUS.

Sorry, but this is way too specific and the tone is way too on point for me to buy this as a hoax.

No, I sound like all the people who think Lolo Jones shouldn't have more endorsements and name recognition than the two women from her team who actually medaled in the Olympics, women who she didn't even shake hands with and who got called ugly bitches in the national media and on Jez for pointing out the skewed…