OF COCK!!!!!!

Mrs. Fisticuffs and I approached this with great enthusiasm and were largely disappointed. I supposed our opinions would be higher if we had expected a crappy cash-grab, but we thought it was fairly mediocre with some great moments and some irritating moments. I’ll spare you the specifics, except to say we found the…

Close. They all get captured and imprisoned forever in the rhombus of infinite subjugation . . . except for the dog, who goes on to a glamourous career as a you-tuber.  

Harrison Ford seems to regard himself as nothing more than a working actor, which is fine.  He also seems to be irritated and resentful that his work might actually mean something to anyone else, which is not cool.  If he wanted to be a talented professional and stay obscure, he should’ve gone into theater.  

Elon Musk is correct in this observation. He is also a flaming asshole.

No Need To Be A Dick.

Band eventually realizes maybe the murder sprees are gonna happen, after all. Who doesn’t have this particular children’s book? (Everyone. Everyone doesn’t.)

I’d argue for Tom Hanks.  He is, after all, American Everyhenchman!

Never was a Kevin Smith fan, even if I did enjoy a couple of early films, but it is a little sad to see him turning into a latter-day William ‘One-Shot’ Beaudine.  

. . . says the faceless fucktoy.  

And that young man is better known today . . . as George W. Bush.

I remember The Spark!  I had to scrub some memory to make space for it, but who wants to remember their childhood?  

So this is basically the audition reel for the next set of Darwin Awards.  

Let’s hope there’s an outpouring of financial support for the perpetrators, in the same way that right-wing MAGA chuds will throw money at the defense of gun-toting assholes who wave loaded guns at peaceful BLM protesters.  

Where so many directors would have made one choice, Christopher Smith makes 10: Mirrors! Dolls! Masochist monks! Bishop gangsters! Nazis! Time travel? Poltergeists! Child possession! A critique of Neville Chamberlain’s pre-WWII policy of pacifism! The patriarchy! And on and on.

AAAAUUUGGHH KILL IT OMIGOD KILL IT WITH FIRE AAAAUUUGGHHH BURN IT BURN IT BURN IT ---

My Dinner With Andre’s Boring-Ass Cousins

To be fair, it’s also rare to even have a remotely good Catholic.

So . . . we’ll blame you, then.

I hope someone got fired for that blunder!