Cities are too diverse and scary. Layup Township, maybe?

Yeah, it’s hard to think of another person who wrote about a medium that was as jubilantly honest as Ebert was. Dude fucking LOVED movies and it showed in his writing, no matter what film he was reviewing. It was never pretentious or overwrought. It wasn’t some gonzo-Lester Bangs shit. It was always informative both…

I like Simmons but I get tired of his basketball analysis for this same reason: he is a self-appointed expert simply because he loves basketball and watched/watches a lot of basketball. Fennessey seems to love movies but neither of them can explain clearly why a movie is good or why a basketball team is good, simply…

I liked the one for “Winners and Losers of the Second Round of the NCAA tournament.” Like that one seems pretty straightforward, guys. There’s a bracket and everything.

Ebert was such a good writer. When he literally lost his voice due to his jaw cancer surgeries, he took to blogging and wrote some amazing things. His website is still a trove of great reviews covering about 40 years of his work.

You guys know The Ringer is a parody site, right? The last 3 times I visited the top story was WINNERS AND LOSERS OF <whatever event just happened>. They’re making fun of people who write those ham-fisted combination of sports/pop-culture/business/tech articles. Right?...Right?

Sweet Jesus. I don’t think I’ll read anything better for the remainder of the year. This makes me happy beyond belief.

This needs to go on Jalopnik, with photos, videos, and your grandfather. Someone make this happen.

*Wipes away tear* That is beautiful.

Oh god, yes.

Your story needs to be cross linked on Jalopnic.

This story is amazing. but it honestly doesn’t even look that bad!

I hope Jalopnik splices this, if they haven’t already.

Thank you for making my day better.

I just had a co-worker ask if I was ok since I was laughing so hard at this... I needed this on a terrible Monday, thank you!

and yet somehow

the wheels are the worst part

I had done something like this with my first car, It was an ‘84 Toyota Camry, and was an ugly faded burgundy. Well, being 16 and a hand-me-down car in 1998, I didn’t have enough money for a paint job, but I did have money for a few cans of Spray Paint.

pretty amazing. but it looks better in the pictures than it did in my mind....so i guess he did a decent job.....

I’m shocked you can’t pull off a $2 bill (Jefferson) from the stash I know you have hiding in the coffee can in the basement...

Thank you for this, I am genuinely laughing so hard I’m having trouble breathing. Truly amazing.