Didn’t say it wasn’t a funk. I mean he stinks no matter where he is.

That’s really sad, and I hope his career rounds into a respectable end. 

So you’re saying that if I eat Tootsie Roll Pops, I cannot, in fact, talk to animals? Fascinating!

I used to love saying “Oh my God, he’s Soooooo Taguchi.” I still think in that cadence time to time. My brain is broken, you see.

Sean Rodriguez is a career .226 hitter. I don’t think his funk has anything to do with Philly.

Why would you affect the worst habits of NFL fans for soccer? The point of watching soccer is to NOT be that guy.

“That seems pretty entitled,” says the guy who only ever wants to hear positive reinforcement

Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. Also, opioids that haven’t been banned yet.

You da real MVP.

Dear God...

As is the case with many scions of privilege, the grandson Jones’ best accomplishments on his player page are those of his forebears.

“Kicking her while she’s down? I like your style.”

It’s a Yum!* world, we’re all just dying in it.

I’m pretty sure I’m a candidate for the Democratic ticket. 

I guess someone needs to be making it right, because clearly Justin will never be wrong.

As someone who writes speeches/talking points for a well-educated and highly polished speaker, I chalk it up to “Sometimes people speaking publicly can leave out a crucial word, or perhaps get a name mixed up, and it’s fine, totally fucking fine.”

+1 too close to home, yet, never so close again

He’s having a great year, but at his age, he has to be starting to think that the best of all the years have gone by .

Man, jalen Ramsey is an asshole.

Nearly all signing bonuses, in any job/contract for services, are contingent upon the contracted person actually doing the work and/or remaining an employee for x number of years. It’s not a misleading term unless you’re being overly literal that you are being paid for the simple act of signing a contract.