There’s a restaurant here in Philly that does lambic ice cream floats. It is a great way to run up/completely ruin an expensive night out.

Pro tip!

And this is what that poor kid looks like now:

Is this some of that dark humor I hear so much about? I like it!

Good Lord, the chud-ass comments in this section. If I still had tears to weep for humanity, they’d be flowing.

Let’s not overload the poor dear. Probably should inform him that socks go on before shoes first.

I have probably drank more wine out of soda bottles than glasses in our fair city.

If you need the preamble—or can’t understand the score bug—to appreciate that this was an awesome play, then why the fuck do you watch sports?

Ah Bartleby! Ah humanity!

Yeah, but the mystery box could be anything!

Yeah, quite honestly, this guy seems like an ass, but I don’t think much of what he says is completely in the wrong. Some people just don’t have great people/communications skills. That’s why we need the Smykowskis of the world.

I usually take them as a palate cleanser, or just to “keep the chain going” if I don’t want something heavier but don’t want to lose a buzz. They’re great for daydrinking, especially in public places.

From what I’ve noticed out in the wild, they’re the kinds of drinks that you figure you’re safe with because of the low ABV, and then 6 cans/2 hours later, you’re a sloppy mess.

I spent many a Sunday midnight>Monday morning in my youth watching hours of CAS on PBS. For a poor young kid in a demographic that is not the assumed “target,” it was eye opening. And the source for many obscure references that kept me alienated from other kids in my neighborhood/school.

Oh, yeah, I’ll all for it as a concept. Stick it to the man in whatever ways you can! But if they hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t have held it against them as some betrayal of the general “fuck capitalism” ethos. So, true feelings are less punchy than the original statement, but I still come out neutral on the editorial…

I hadn’t noticed and literally couldn’t care less. (That apathy goes both ways.)

The I Got 5 On It remix is life. Spice motherfucking 1!

I am shocked. Absolutely shocked. The sun rose this morning and I was floored, but this has sent me over the edge of shockitude.

Problem?

Counterpoint: challenger for best ceremonial first pitch of all time.