Wake me up when he bat flips a single.

“Yeah, but then he got to sit down, maybe grab a little 3rd dinner, and chill for the rest of the game. And he didn’t have to run anymore. Who’s laughing now?”

OK, I see, Cardinal losses and Mitch Hedberg quotes, sort of like chocolate and peanut butter together, except in pure form and not turned into some kind of bastardized mess like Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.

Looks like the pitcher’s gonna have to....BEAR down harder next time! WACHA-WACHA!

“I bought a house. It’s a two-bedroom house, but I think it’s up to me how many bedrooms there are, isn’t it?”

I’m a huge Cardinals fan, and let me just say that I’ll gladly put up with a hundred more of these posts this season for a Blues win tonight. I could deal with a decade of this for one Stanley Cup!

I find Deadspin’s commitment of time and resources all being used to troll one person, Will Leitch both immature and petty. In other words, great job!

Also, there are seven letters in “St. Louis” but *ten* if you spell out “Saint”. Need I say more? Wake up, sheeple!

“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.” - Mitch Hedberg

Have to give Jacob his props for time traveling back in time to draft Curry before he even bought the team.

Wearing a team t-shirt over an expensive dress shirt is just below “acceptable” when it’s the lawyer bros that get the giveaway shirt when they walk into the game to sit in their expensive free seats. For a dickhead owner, it’s down on the scale next to “wrong-sport-and-city-jersey” guy at the arena.

I know. You already told me. I even thanked you for explaining. Now, do I have to keep responding to you to avoid being an “entitled prick?” Or do I have to make more money first?

This is the difference between someone sitting in their basement on the computer vs someone playing major league baseball.

Leaving without talking to anybody makes you an “entitled prick?” Dang, I had no idea. Thank you for explaining how making lots of money means you owe something to reporters.

He was Fatt Harvey last season and pitched just fine.

This is way too nuanced for these boards, sir.

Imagine if you started to suck at your job. And instead of people feeling sorry for you, they fat-shamed you and complained that you didn’t want to talk about how much you sucked. Now imagine those people are New York City reporters. Now imagine if spiders could fly. Now imagine that your whole house was covered in…

You can pitch like garbage and be a big fatass and hit your wife/girlfriend/dog, but as long as you talk to the press after the game they’ll always have your back in some way.

One thing I haven’t seen anyone talk about is the physicality with which OKC is covering Curry. They haven’t been letting him run free around those screens like usual, which oddly enough I don’t think I’ve seen anyone else even try to do.

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