True true true. OK duly noted, Brad Pitt isn't exactly like the ugliest specimen on earth. Or even close to it. I do feel like, however, I have seen more than a few pictures of him looking kind of scrubby. But mostly, I just want Jen's arms.

You're reading way too far into a pretty sarcastic and shallow comment that had much more to do with her incredible arms than anything to do with Brad Pitt. Point taken that he can clean up for a red carpet, though.

If I was her I would use my amazing arms to hold up a pic of the very poorly aging Brad Pitt and be like "'nuff said, k? Next question please!" Seriously those biceps though.

Thank you! I'd rather watch a show about organization than just about any show on TV. And I am a BIG.FAN. of some of the current programming. Just saying, I LOVE me some organization tips and tricks!

I invite you to join me at my gym if you're in Chicago. We have AMAZING group fitness instructors. They have a cult-like following and you have to sign up for class an hour before they start because they fill up. I will get up at 5am to sign up an hour early for my favorite spin instructor's 7am class because he is SO…

co-signed.

Oh DUH of course!! It was the abortion he would need so he is the exception. My bad I can hardly keep up with the hypocrisy, clearly!

he's definitely a sperm you wished found its demise in a tissue.

Technically it is illegal to lie in a notarized document. Technically though, this guy is an ass face. So they equal each other out.

Please be a resident of another state so IF you were to get pregnant (which I wouldn't wish on anyone! I'm 10000% pro-choice, I'd just rather not wish that situation on anyone) you could have an abortion without his ridiculous law (not that it would ever pass) and be like BOOYAH BITCH NOW WHAT

not the whole fuck, lest you wind up pregnant.

except parenthood, am I right? Barring that, he probably wouldn't have been down with an abortion!

This wackadoo's next law would probably be that all the notarized statements are posted in the state capitol building with a photo of the mother (but probably not the father) in question, protected by bullet proof glass. Because we *need* to know who the whores are, DUHHHH.

PLEASE start an etsy page to sell it! I will buy one!

I hope when they went to do the (not at all comfortable, from my experience) insertion you made a very overt comment regarding penetration and asking your husband first. Ugh fuck that doc, seriously, I hope s/he learned some big lessons that day!

The worst most humiliating can experience I've ever had:

Like my husband wants to one day say to our daughter "any idiot with a penis can make a baby." (which is a generalization sure but whatever) not saying my husband is an idiot, but that having a baby doesn't make one put together. I do think I'm a really good mom (modest is not hottest) but I am really horrible at…

My doctor told me I could fly up to 38 weeks. My mother, however, did not give birth to a fool back in 1984, so I opted to stop around 30 weeks. Go fig, didn't give birth until (induced) at 41 weeks.

I totally respect that. Kid(s) are complete resource suckers. Time. Money. Emotions. Patience. They give a lot of wonderful things back in return, but if anyone is ever entering into parenthood looking for eventual balance in give vs. take they are going to be searching for a looooooooooong time.

I suggest giving her six months of house arrest. Nothing sounds worse than jail EXCEPT for being stuck in the house for a short (seemingly eternal) punishment and not being able to leave.