I was in the Peace Corps in west Africa back in the day. I was giving a sensibilization about hand washing with a local nurse in a village. And I mean a village. We were in a thatch covered meeting area in the village and, right when my colleague was talking, a spider nest fell down and hit a little kid in the head.…

Five months ago I noticed a fairly large wound on my lower left leg. I assumed it was a mosquito bite or ingrown hair and didn’t worry too much about it. But it kept getting bigger, leaking pus, and itching. I put some bactro-ban and a plaster on it, and within an hour I had a reaction that made it look like I’d been…

Tween Dali Lana woke up late one morning and had to rush to get ready for school. I figured I’d brush my teeth, wash my face, throw on my uniform and head out the door. After completing parts one and two without incident, I started to change outta my pjs to put on my uniform. As I’m taking the bottom part of my pjs…

One evening many years ago, my single self was enjoying an evening of self-enjoyment, when I discovered an extra bump in between labias majora and minora. With the aid of a magnifying mirror, I discovered, to my utter horror, a full engorged tick. I have a dog who is a tick-magnet, and this is likely how that little…

There is a parasite called hook worm that if you step on it from your pet’s excrement can burrow up through the bottom of your foot.

When my childhood car puked up a shitload of tapeworms, kid me said “mom, Percy threw up spaghetti! And it’s moving!! The spaghetti is alive!!!”

My Bug Story: A poem

I’m so excited to finally have a good story so I can participate in my first pissing contest! And also sad that nobody will ever see this because I’m gray.

There was a period of my childhood where we (my siblings and I) were terrified to go to bed, because we would get these incredibly painful bites. We told our parents, but instead of investigating, it turned into lecture after lecture about how we wouldn’t have bugs if we kept our rooms clean. Soon after, my parents…

I could say “Old crappy motel along a canal in Miami Beach converted into crappier apartments,” and you’ve probably heard enough to imagine. But here’s my story.

....And he was getting pretty cosy.

Oh man, I was just telling this story on another website this week ironically enough.

I have a lot of horrific bug stories as I’ve lived in Florida, and a cockroach infested apartment in Brooklyn (they got in my bed, y’all.) But, I’d have to say, the absolute worst was during my three year stay in Senegal. Anyone whose ever spent time in Africa might be familiar with blow flies or Cayor flies. Their…

My dad used to work night shifts and, one night, crawled quietly out of bed in the dark to get ready for work. He took a few steps before he stepped on something warm and sticky. He figured right that it was cat barf. What he couldn’t have guessed though was that there was a tapeworm in the middle of the barf that…

Its not a bug, its a lizard.

My grandmother loved to tell this story...