Your savory muffins intrigue me and I am interested in subscribing to your newsletter 

That sounds fabulous. And the nuts didn't burn? 

That is so impressive! And sounds delicious! 

That looks so good!

It's been so chilly here today I wish I had more to bake. Jealous of your carrot cake. I love carrot cake.

I've never roasted a whole duck, God speed!

Your eggs are so fancy!

That's rough. You can't have a long term adult relationship with someone who won't even talk about money though. 

I actually shared the story recently, because it happened a few weeks ago. My middle school boyfriend contacted me out of the blue, and apologized for his behavior, which was alright, he didn’t really have anything to apologize for, but the weird part was that because we live in a very small state, middle school…

What’s everyone making lately? Eastern Orthodox Easter is still a month away, but my family appropriated these Greek Easter cookies for the huge tray of cookies my mom always made for Catholic Easter. I’ve gone rogue on the recipe. The original has a subtle lemon flavor, but my version is more of a Wake up tastebuds!…

I think you could use whichever you prefer, I like the vinegary kind, you just put a wedge of cabbage, a whole carrot, maybe some onion slices and a strip of red bell pepper on the grill, until everything has a nice char, then proceed with your recipe.

Isn't this situation exactly what bitcoin is for?! And he looks like a dude who cannot stop talking about bitcoin. 

Wary and suspicious 

I’m no cat lawyer, but I don’t think you can sue a country. I think it shows a lack of respect for the intelligence of your potential constituents.

Finding out the gender if your child is no excuse to build a bomb.

Cole slaw was fine, until someone introduced me to grilled Cole slaw. That is much better. 

In pictures where he doesn’t look like a cartoon douche bag, he looks like an Orville Faubus arguing for segregation.

Given the labor conditions in sneaker factories, I’m sure most sneakers come with a drop or more of human blood.

Oh man, now I need to hear Tucker Carlson saying CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS?! in his squeaky faux outraged voice with his signature confused dog expression. 

Oh no, your tomatoes!