LOVE

Good God-fearing hair. This hair is right with the Lord.

I live in Florida, about halfway down the peninsula, and our deciduous trees usually drop their leaves in Jan-Feb, just in time for the new ones to show up in Feb-Mar. They don’t cycle through colors, as a rule — they just turn brown and fall off. Sometimes you get a few yellow ones, but never the full spectrum of…

“Today, you can be famous just from being on a reality, well, doing—you don’t really have to do much, but you kinda gotta do a lot. And then your whole life is just about being a celebrity and that’s what some people aspire to, because it’s easy and because then everybody knows them and all they see is the bright side…

HOW DO I GET THIS MUCH LIFT?

Do what you love; the money will follow.

- Once you are past the age of 30, you should not be drinking hard liquor or mixed drinks when going out.

What does your gender presentation have to do with it? All you know about me is my name, literally nothing else. Offensive is the stereotype you have just applied to me, not my assertion that you are far more likely to die of more common causes — that is simply math.

No, I'm realistic. So far, Ebola has claimed 0.00000000003% of Americans living in the US. In contrast, every year:

Are you similarly nuts about your likely eventual death from other preventable causes — type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, motor vehicle accidents — or do you save it for viruses that have killed one single person within the US?

And not one of them even approaches Lindsay Lohan's tagline when she was on WWHL: "I'm done with mugshots and I'm ready for an Oscar."

I wonder whether she still has Lesbian Superstar Lori Michaels around to keep her company.

Such as?

You leave poor Bouffant out of this. She tries as best she can with what God saw fit to give her, bless.

Dina trying (and failing) to one-up my darling Crackerjacks in the statement necklace game. Allow me to introduce into evidence the following exhibits:

Queer as Folk DVDs (or on Netflix but the music is all wrong ugh so don't do it). Network TV only took 15 years to catch up.

The library is open and Ms Stewart has the floor.

Shana Lynette "Taylor" "Ford" Hughes Armstrong. She's had way more names and hometowns, and has seemed more actively involved in her various scams. Theresa is a willingly ignorant accomplice, but not nearly as grifteresque as Taylor.

The fries make it Pittsburgh.

Andy's face was perfection. Every time she said something like I didn't know what I was signing, or I wasn't supposed to go to jail, or How could they do this to me?, and my favorite My lawyer was supposed to defend me. Bitch, you're going to jail for 15 months instead of 50 years. Smile and say thank you and GTFO.