UGH, seriously. Ranch dressing is the Devil's semen, and even the briefest thought of putting it into your ICED TEA is, like, I'm quite literally gagging right now.

First season is uneven and takes a minute to get going. Second season on? Break out the wine and board the Shondacoaster. Totally addictive.

Countess LuAnn, Lisa Vanderpump, and Laverne Cox are among the guests at my imaginary Best Cocktail Party Ever.

I'd worry about the acid curdling it. Like a cement mixer but with breast milk instead of Bailey's.

The way mom and boyfriend treat this one is neglectful and borderline abusive. Like I wanted to call DCF neglectful.

Milk is milk, and you can usually get skim, 2%, or whole (4%). Cream is usually either half-and-half (10.5-18% fat) or light cream (18-30% fat).

If this salad wants to be respected, it needs to start by respecting itself.

Most handwipes are alcohol, water, and fragrance (if any). The ones we use where I work are about 100 proof, if you wanna look at it like that, and while they might not taste great, two sips of Coke in which two wipes were sitting would hardly justify a trip to the ER.

Don't take me the wrong way — I'm not suggesting you call a meeting and tell everyone you're gay. What I'm saying is that it's important not to play the pronoun game with your coworkers (provided of course you don't work in an environment where it could cost you your job or your safety), and that it's important not to…

Right, but Ron Paul is a man, so his body and appearance are his own. Peeves is a woman, so her body and appearance belong to the world at large.

As to your other point, the most important thing you can do to change the feelings of people around you about The Gays is to come out. Living your life out and proud while being authentically yourself is the only way to show people that the only thing that The Gays have completely in common is our love of the penis.

Tell me this - how are pride parades any different than catty 'fag hags?' Both of them celebrate and embrace The Gay, yet both reaffirm to the world that all gays are a bunch of sexual deviants who dress in drag/assless chaps/fetish wear/etc.

Bad gay! — from a gay man who also doesn't fit the stereotypes (except for his undying love of the Queen Britney Spears and all of Bravo).

I'm trying to imagine the societal condemnation that would come down today on a mother who told her child to walk to the store to run a couple errands. I'm not tryna do a Kids these days... thing, but you know, kids these days are kept inside under constant surveillance too much.

Yes, I do. In fact, if I'm at a pub (at a table with a server, not directly at the bar) with my people then I'm likely to have taken up a table for a long time and that means I'll usually tip closer to 25-30% cause of the server's opportunity cost in serving me.

Yeah, you definitely wouldn't wanna accidentally give someone an extra quarter by tipping 20% of the 7% or whatever tax. I mean, that's just insane. /s

I would have fallen out.

She's my spirit animal. If I could come back as anyone, it would be as Lisa VDP. I adore her most of all because she is the heroine of the Jackie Collins novel that is her life.

I've written a letter to Daddy, his address was heaven above. I've written "Dear Daddy, we miss you, and wish you were here with us to love."