I’m beginning to think women in that family are secretly lizard-people who reproduce by parthenogenesis, given how much Gwyneth herself looks like her mother.

1. Jesus Christ, does this dude have functioning eyeballs? No. Just no. God no.

I literally cannot think of a single billionaire LESS attractive than Trump. Maybe if you ignored his entire personality, he might have qualified as physically “meh” thirty or forty years ago. It’d be difficult, even then, because it’s pretty much impossible to find a picture of him at any age where he doesn’t look…

I mean, if there were a deity that forgave evil deeds based only on a public announcement of prayer, without the person in question genuinely repenting and therefore genuinely demonstrating that repentance through their actions, then no, I wouldn’t consider that deity worth worshiping. A god that thinks rape is…

I honestly don’t think a woman could be Kanye-level obnoxious and still achieve Kanye-level fame. Dudes get to have their temper tantrums attributed to being eccentric artistes; women who do the same things are just crazy bitches.

It can begin there, sure. The problem is when it also ends there.

It is incredibly fucking out of line to kiss people who have not indicated that they want you to kiss them. I don’t care whether you’re standing in a hotel room or on the moon. Putting your mouth on another human being who has not expressed any desire for you to do so is assault. If you think it’s okay for you to…

Counter-counterpoint: pick it up and then drop it into the next charity collection jar you see.

I mean, it is, but you have to be REALLY short. I had a friend in college who was 4'8", and she expressed a fair amount of self-consciousness about her height and got some stupid and offensive comments from dudes because of it. But being a couple of inches below average height is definitely not a thing any woman I…

Then mock them for being assholes. It’s really not difficult to grasp the distinction between “ha ha, you’re an asshole (who happens to be disabled)” and “ha ha, you’re disabled.”

This! It’s the same reason I hate the use of “try-hard” as an insult. Trying hard isn’t a negative quality! Unless you are trying hard to be a serial killer or something, it’s either a “normal human being” quality or an actively good one. And that’s really the worst thing people seem to have to say about Hathaway -…

Now I’m sad, too! I worry about Allie Brosh every time I think about it. I really hope she’s okay and is just busy doing something other than blogging.

Or previous bumper stickers! I’m poor and all the cars I’ve ever owned have been bought used from individual people rather than dealers, and that has twice meant that the best car for the money has been one that came with multiple bumper stickers on it that I couldn’t fully scrape off. So I bought my own bumper…

Ah, okay, this wasn’t clear from your initial comment. Yeah, there are definitely some “musicians” who really aren’t very good at ANY instrument (including voice) out there, and it is indeed frustrating to see how successful they can become when there are so many legitimately talented people out there who simply…

That was my “take a shot” word in tonight’s debate drinking game! I was glad that I had the sense to opt to interpret “shot” loosely and take large sips of a mixed drink instead, since I have to work tomorrow.

Yup. She also repeatedly calls him “Donald” or “my opponent” and never “Mr. Trump,” calls him a millionaire and not a billionaire, obviously smiles and chuckles when he attacks her rather than looking even mildly put out, and has carefully been laying the groundwork regarding Russia in the last two debates so that…

Yup. As soon as he said that, I turned to the friends I was watching with and said, “Oh yeah? Well, I’m rubber and you’re glue! Neener neener!” At that point, I genuinely would not have been surprised if that had been his next retort.

I honestly believe Clinton deliberately baits him into that sort of attack, and he’s just too damn stupid not to walk right into it. She figures out exactly how she can needle him to make him publicly melt down and then stands there and smiles through it and looks thoroughly presidential while he’s throwing a tantrum…

That’s fantastic.

17 of the ones I picked were real and 5 were fake. Apparently I am decent at speaking campaign-sloganese.