All of my cats (Gus, Mr. Toomey, Boggs) absolutely knew/know their names. But you can tell when they are hearing and ignoring you. The ears twitch back, the tail wags, but they don’t look at you. Whether they come to you is not up to you.

My current floofball Felicia knows her full name plus all of her nickname variants, but she can’t seem to figure out that 3:00 in the morning is an unacceptable time for breakfast.

Leave me alone, peasant.

Anyone who would ask me to share my medium pizza instead of ordering their own doesn’t really love me for me, though, do they?

Me: “...Somebody just needs to grow a pair and step up. I’m shockingly available. I have made it very clear.”

It’s not a lamp; it’s a torchiere. Torchieres are favored by therapists because indirect light is more comforting.

No evisceration here! In fact, I as a trans person largely agree with you. :)

I don’t know how to explain to people that I’m not an issue: I’m a person. The Atlantic goes out of their way to play this edgelord both-sides game, and I’m more than done with it. I have to fight court battles over bathrooms; do you think I really want to read what some uninformed, empathy-bankrupt hack thinks of my…

The problem we encounter today is the mistakes the kids make stay with them, by virtue of digital media, so it makes a difficult situation even more difficult, because it doesn’t get let go. It is amplified.

Look at him hogging up 4 seats! Keanu would curl up under 1 seat like a cat and let a pregnant woman take his seat.

I no longer ask my children (11 and 13) if they’ve brushed their teeth. I’ve developed some sort of mystical dad knowledge about whether they’ve actually done so, based solely on their movements to and from the upstairs bathroom, which I pay only casual attention to.

I feel like this is a supervillain origin story.

“paying costumers”!?  I can assure you, as a professional costumer, I would never pay to watch people in the privacy of their hotel rooms. Nor would I do that as a paying customer. Costumers are always taking the rap for things that customers do.

In an unintentionally hilarious moment, the narrator explains, “Despite having never watched it, Jane has strong feelings about porn.” That was not unintentional, that was British (at its best). 

I legitimately read that headline to mean that these moms were going to be starring in a porn that their children would then watch. While still horrifying, the truth is far, far less appalling. 

You all need this: https://kpopalypse.com/2019/03/15/help-for-k-pop-fans-who-just-found-out-that-their-bias-is-a-dirty-rapist/

You’re really not using that right. The “Old man yells at cloud” thing is meant to be used when an out-of-touch person complains about something new, that they don’t understand, that generally doesn’t actually affect them in any way. This interview is a woman discussing her history as a director and the things she…

I can’t count the number of times I’ve exclaimed “This isn’t good! I’m not happy!” when things go extremely wrong.

My husband has long hair, and has had it for decades- so lots of practice, but even he struggles. Our daughter has super curly hair. But like, he practices. And sometimes it’s not perfect, and that’s ok. I see some women (sometimes!) undermining their SO but immediately undoing whatever they’ve done and redoing it,…