As someone who was abused by a prominent member of the BDSM community and deleted my social media accounts because I couldn’t handle seeing him praised as a “feminist”, I’m awed by Stoya’s bravery. I hope she gets all the support she deserves.

Still-Celia loves Milton’s Burled Cock

AND WHY WAS SHE WEARING A GLITTY HAIR TIE OMGOMG

Um go child Mindymoo! I did a whole project on different art styles because a four year old said that art must be pretty things inside the lines. (She was jealous of her twin’s work) It was one of my favorite extensive studies. Here was that girl’s portrait of Van Gogh.

Um hello, he was on The Hills.

times is hard.

Damn, Tinder expert over here

The fact that he couldn’t recall the term “sapiosexual” is proof positive that he’s never actually been on Tinder. It is included in at least 85% of profiles.

Well that’s disappointing.

I eat that shit up when I’m on the treadmill. I love Guy Fieri because I can live vicariously through him.

I respect Bourdain’s insulting ability.

he’d be the resulting product “if Ed Hardy fucked a juggalo.”

I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for wearing flats.

I love scallops. All scallops. Scalloped hems. Diver Scallops. Scalloped Potatoes. All the scallops.

Bless you, you tiny tiny man. Own your smallness. When you and the Hemsworths get stuck underground while spelunking, you’ll be the only one able to fit through the keyhole to the outside world, so revel in that.

True story: I worked at a pub where the owner came up with the idea to build a hamster race track. In the pub. Seriously. His idea would be that parents and children would come in with the hamster balls, set them on the track, and say (his words, not mine):
"GO, FUCKER!"
Sadly, this did not come to fruition.

"She was meaner and more disrespectful than the guy who robbed the place with a machete two weeks later."

I missed this! I worked in a coffee shop with sandwiches and bagged, pre-bought chips (note: no FRYER) and people constantly asked for french fries. When we said no, they'd ask us to just make them (you know, out of the potatoes and fryer we don't have). Once, when I said no to that, they asked how we could make those…

To be fair to the Wendy's milkshake person, the myth of fast food milkshakes not containing dairy is a pervasive urban legend...