And yet he somehow looks less human.

And why he’s retained hundreds of contractors whose work was too bad to pay them.

Or “congratulations, you never have to interact with Donald Trump again.”

Her?

GEORGE: Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence. Get me back. Get me back. I don’t care what happens in the NFL. Only get Tebow out of my baseball news.

CLARENCE: You’ve been given a great gift, George: A chance to see what the world would be like if football teams stopped offering contracts to Tim Tebow.

Oh, that’s so right. And obviously Newt Gingrich is Brian.

Very nicely done

In hindsight, this comparison is totally unfair to Vincent Adultman.

I don’t know, I found Trump’s basic pitch pretty compelling:

And Hillary’s first pass was “I call it -- Trumped -- up -- trickle down.” She got through it.

Andrew: Roger Ailes

Fact check: Ms. Squeel is correct; we wouldn’t like her if she said what she meant.

His best friend thinks (a) Obamacare is socialized medicine and (b) we need single-payer but Obama’s too in hock to the insurance companies.

Last I talked to him, my uncle thought his time as a real estate developer was great preparation. Hillary, by contrast, would be the least qualified president we’ve ever had. By that point in the conversation, he had already explained that the Democrats weren’t sufficiently supportive of unions and that Scott Walker…

#notallwhitepeople #seriouslyweresorryguys #myracistunclethinkshesqualified

Fact check: While getting a guy into the White House that will it make it possible for you to call a black man the N-word in public is figuratively all these Trumptards care about, it is not literally all these Trumptards care about. These Trumptards also care about the Second Amendment and their freedom from fear…

Fact check: God did not forsake this shitshow of an election. While God has yet to endorse either candidate publicly, close associates who requested anonymity out of respect for God have stated that God is waiting for the moment when His endorsement will have maximum impact. However, Mr. L is correct that a perception…

While I agree completely, I was a little sad that this wasn’t a Choose Your Own Adventure book about moderating a Trump debate.

Fact check: While many of us are Fucked, more than 5 percent of voting-age Americans have never had sexual intercourse. More broadly, at any given time, a substantial portion of Americans have been celibate for “god, so long I don’t even want to think about it.” Mr. Keane’s statement, while perhaps true for a majority…