The douchepocalypse™.

And Matt Lauer

If only Sean Penn was there too, we’d get the Holy Trinity of Douchery

Honestly, with 10+ years of preschool teaching under my own belt, I’d have noped the fuck out as soon as I saw all those acronyms. UGH.

I’ve never read more poorly written, unprofessional emails from anyone over the age of 30 in my life. Her tone, her choice of words...just mortifying.

In 300 years, there will likely be some important Deklan’s as well. Heck, there will probably be some important Nevaeh’s and Jeidyn’s too and all our 21st century souls will roll over in our artisanal, locally sourced, crematory boxes.

As the owner of the name Bracken it is my expert opinion that every name in this story is indeed terrible.

Unique! Special!

I know. Deklan is a terrible name.

Uh...did you...miss the part where the vegetarian samples were the most likely to be contaminated ones?

Still my favorite Yelp review to date...

It doesn’t hurt that Clinton and Richards are about 19x smarter than anyone else in the room.

I doubt you would get Attempted Murder: Probably Vehicular assault or Aggravate Assault. The motorcyclist would likely get a ticket for an illegal pass, but that doesn't give a driver license for intentionally hitting someone with a vehicle.

100% correct!

He consciously used his vehicle as a weapon.

The driver should be charged with attempted murder - but because he “only” hit a motorcycle, he won’t be.

Unless she hired a lawyer, victims don’t have lawyers. In DV cases, the prosecutor should always be prepared to move forward without the victim. From other articles I’ve read, from the start she indicated that she wasn’t too keen on cooperating, which is even more reason the prosecutors should’ve been prepared to…

I had to stand before a judge once with a doctors note for my dying father explaining why he couldn't show up to TRAFFIC court and she was was honestly the meanest person I've ever dealt with - and I'm a retail manager. I think judges suck.

She was acting like a judge, all right: a deeply misguided judge who clearly has not done her homework on this subject or just doesn’t give a shit. Every group I know that does work on this topic has been saying for years and years that this is an ineffective, counterproductive, and harmful practice. She had other…

If the judge’s contempt stems from frustration that victims often drop complaints, she did the absolute worst thing she could have done. Victims are already terrified to press charges; the judge just announced to victims everywhere that the very worst thing they can ever do is seek help through the legal system,…

I saw this on the news the other day. The judge took the contempt part to heart. She was dripping icy scorn. The quality of mercy was completely absent. And the woman’s pleas as she was escorted out were heart wrenching. I know it’s important to press charges. But there is no way that this woman wasn’t re-victimized.