A hot dog.

Police were surprised to learn that the knife was fake, as they’d legitimately believed it was real for a long time, although some of the smarter ones had had their doubts.

For $100,000 you could buy 200 Hyundai Accents and control the flow of traffic wherever you go.

I guess he didn’t care if he ever got back.

“You’ll regret pissing off your star player. I guarantee it.”

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

V-necks should be auto disqualified for being awful.

Man, this is so much cooler than when Jack Johnson’s parents stole my kid’s piggy bank.

Geno Smith: “Ikemefuna Enemkpali”

This is the first time a Jets player has been publicly cold-cocked since Brett Favre sent that picture to Jenn Sterger from the team’s ice-bath.

1. Popeye’s

That glory of riding with the roof down, that loose kinda swaggery rjde from long-travel suspension.

“lol Kobe calls 17/38 a prtty good nite haha” - every god damn comment

If any Spikes fans find themselves still traumatized, next Thursday is $1 beer night.

/thread

Look at this fucking (degenerative) hipster.

To everyone who (most likely didn’t read this beautiful and heartfelt essay on what it means to be a friend and and instead) is eagerly taking advantage of the unsupervised open space below to post your unneeded, unwanted and ultimately entirely impertinent opinions about the post or Gawker in general, I won’t bestow…

From the crates: