Chipotle cleaaaaaaaanse baby!

love hearing about a dad who gets this excited for a Daughter

“DADDDDYYYYYY DIDNT GIVE ATTENTIOONNNNNNN”

As a 9-5 daily beater it looks pretty Sweed.

It’s been a great run. Thanks for the mammaries!

“Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos!”

Pretty FLY for a white guy...

This may be bigger than we thought. It turns out that there were many early, unsuccessful attempts at this BMW theft scheme worldwide that only succeeded in disabling the turn signals.

Whoa, Blue Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Blue Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

Remember all those movies like Clueless where the geeky girl gets a make over and she’s suddenly hot and popular because she’s now hot? Yeah, this is nothing like that. Those movies started out with a beautiful Hollywood actress, put glasses on her and marched her into the scene. This was ugly, is ugly, and will…

Terrifying at any speed.

I thought the appropriate way was to have the dumpling grow up, resent you, and start dating a white girl, then you eat the entire dumpling in one bite.

I still think ‘All Star’ was a stupid song.

Couple of suckers in that video.

Someone told her not to worry about the car catching fire since she’d be underwater on her loan.

Gonna have to special order some “Axles of evil”.

I can’t wait to see how Elon is gonna solve this one!

Don’t tweet me bro!

I tried FiberFix. I was on the toilet ALL THE TIME.