Let the woman have her quiet protest of reading. If she not actively trying to hurt people, let it go.

Yes, you are. I believe it has stood the test of time, that’s why I’m a little bit confused at to why this too needs a remake. Watch the original, it’s a blast!

“Was that so hard?!”

Soon, we’ll be able to start tracking her movements. We can tag her, follow her by satellite, and monitor her migration patterns. We will learn how many are in her herd, and if they’re collecting the core materials of caramel to bring back to their home habitats.

Ever heard of The Vortex? The owner is one of my favorite people, like, on the planet. Here are their policies, which includes this peach and many others:

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

Okay, I haven’t read through yet, but last week, I discussed writing up a “BCO In Jokes Primer”... and here it is. For all those who are new...

Somehow it tastes like it smells and even the inevitable burps from indigestion have the same odor.

even if the food contained small amounts of HIV-infected blood or semen

I have it on very good authority from Strawberry Shortcake that Blueberry Muffin’s vagina* does, in fact, taste like blueberry.

I just know that at some point before I die I'm going to see a package of hamburger with a warning label "Contains meat." and it's going to be because of one of these idiots.

I shudder to think what he might do for a Klondike bar.

Once, as a teenager, I worked for a couple hours as a favor to my friend’s dad, handing out free samples of this really terrible energy bar at Costco. People will eat literally anything if it’s free and in a small accordion paper cup. This bar tasted like dirt rubbed in poo with some raisins in for a hellish texture…

I heard that if they feel threatened, gays can charge and gore you with their horns.*

Duh! Sperm are way more important to Sky Daddy than ova, that’s why Sky Daddy ensures each man makes millions of them. Each day. And if you protect your ova from sperm, you are friendzoning them which is just awful.

My feelings:

Watch the opening of the movie ‘Idiocracy’. I feel it kind of answers your question perfectly.

All I hear is an angry man yelling a whole lot because the buffet line has brussel sprouts and he HATE brussel sprouts and how dare they offer brussel sprouts when he hates them so much that he doesn’t want his adult daughters to go anywhere near those brussel sprouts.

It’s bullshit. If Jehovah’s Witnesses can’t lobby for health insurance to not cover blood transfusions because that’s an infringement of their religious freedom, this dude can’t argue that coverage of BC infringes on his religious freedom. It’s also against a lot of religions to blaspheme, does that mean the freedom…