Sometimes if I cough really hard it turns into a sneeze.  I don’t know if it sucks, necessarily, but it’s confusing as hell every single time.

Anyone who thinks Hot Dogs are bullshit should be deported.

Where in the world are we calling “hiccups” “hiccoughs”?

Based on his pictures, I think the best we can hope for sometime soon is “late”.

I want to say that I’m confused by the insistence of certain major publications and broadcasters that racists should not be called racist in print or broadcast format.

I want to say that, but I’m not confused, so I shouldn’t.

These publications and broadcasters rely on both subscribers/viewers and advertisers in order…

Surely you mean former interim Michigan State president...? 

Ingles, motherfucker; do you talk it?

When Ricky Rubio was asked if Joe Ingles talks trash during Utah practices, he shrugged.

Joe Ingles: trash talker of the gods. Body of a rec league dad. 

No, bullshit. When your colleague is on the side of racists, enabling Trump to trample on our country and try to burn everything down, then no.

When one of my colleagues told us that we should be more like “the company’s niggers” instead of staying union, we didn’t welcome him back and try to meet halfway.

You’re a…

It’s effectively irrelevant whether it’s “good politics” or not, because it’s all personal to him. His cult will declare that it’s a brilliant move, but at the end of the day the rest of us are all getting a well-deserved laugh at his trash ass. And our laughter hurts his feelings a lot more than the increasingly…

B.J. in 2015.  B.J. again in 2019.  I think all the married guys can relate.

It really is weird how all trace of him has been erased from history.

I didn’t realize we were burning books and all text representing the confederacy from the Internet. That’s pretty rad.

Do you know about Adolf Hitler? If you do, that’s really weird since there aren’t any statues of him around. 

We don’t need statues to understand history. These statues don’t represent history. They are propaganda, meant to celebrate traitors who fought for the right to brutally subjugate an entire race of people. 

And nothing of value was lost.

Damn.

Take her head and rub her nose in the terrible tip and say, “Did you do that? No! Bad tipper, bad!” She should learn her lesson after the second or third time.

Tell them that you love them, gather them in a big hug, then shove a stiletto into them at the base of their skull, angled upwards at approximately 15 degrees. Then cover your tracks by shoving the same stiletto into your own skull and writing “one-armed man” shakily but legibly in large letters on the parquet floor…