I get it. Being a car dealer in Chicago can be rough this time of year. 

I know there’s probably no legitimate reason, but I wish our border guards could stop him from entering. “Nope, go use your own healthcare, Ayn Rand.”

World War ZZ(Top)

And how many of those burgers do you think he’s sent back with instructions to “make it like Wendy’s”. 

Christ.

Please. He’s a New Yorker you think he’s gonna order that garbage? Only authentic New York slices.

He’s continuing the proud family tradition of “Look, I didn’t actually see what you’re talking about...”

I’m going to say that they fooled around but it was so bad that she gave him a half-hearted hand job to wrap things up and get out of there. He’s denying it to be coy and she’s denying it because wouldn’t you?

The best reply I saw on Twitter was something like ‘Why would they ban their mascot?’, which is the appropriate take.

Ugh, I used to be a Chris Pratt fan back when he was on Park & Rec and the first Guardians... then I heard him speak in public and preachy nonsense spewed out. Then I was Liz Lemon in this:

If shooting it was as boring as watching it, what choice would they have had?

Pratt is also currently on the “Daniel Fast,” a bible-based diet

She didn’t need medical attention or she refused medical attention? I hope her parents took her to get checked out themselves.

Pratt is also currently on the “Daniel Fast,”

Mulvaney reportedly said that the two parties “should find a middle ground” between the $5.7 billion and the Democrats’ counteroffer for $1.3 billion

Why would anybody in their right mind ever feel anything close to sympathy for Mick Mulvaney? Fuck that guy straight into hell. May he go to sleep on a bed filled with fire ants. 

The Root’s experts believe that her cousins are probably going to fuck him up.

While I know it technically is the same screenwriter as Arrival, I refuse to believe it.