This book desperately grabs you by the shoulders and screams “See how cool I am! This is funny! This is hip!” It’s like a chatbot that’s been fed an 80's almanac.

“Most recent Xavier March Madness flameout”? I think you mean “run to the Elite Eight by knocking off three consecutive higher seeds” ....MICHAEL.

THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE

“He took a 14-hour bus ride from Savannah, Georgia, where he lives with his parents.”

Story link makes me think the reporter had an illegal string instrument: http://deadspin.com/report-eagles-eject-reporter-from-press-box-for-viola-1790673845