This remains the only correct answer for “new” Christmas classics. Although I will hear arguments for the Carpenters.

An entire gallon of milk. In Tennessee. In the summer. The ghost of rotten milk smell would resurrect every hot day for the rest of the car’s life.

Here we come, a-Carroll-ing

And the World Cup!

Actually, forget the blackjack!

We’ll host our own World Cup, with blackjack! And hookers!

Eagles: “We’ll give you a-”

“Now, you say ‘pissing in your socks’ like it’s a bad thing, but let me tell you, there’s no quicker to warm up on the cold bus bench after the sun goes down.”

More hits than the Phils had all season! <cries>

Eh, it’s more of a Shelbyville idea anyway...

Sounds like it was judge, Jurich, and executioner.

Goes to show- Judge not, lest ye be Judged

Any Portnoy in a storm, I suppose.

Counterpoint: there is no hope for anyone, for any reason.

Who says it’s only computer AI that has a problem with it? The Redskins couldn’t stop it either: https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2013/9/10/4715606/chip-kellys-insane-and-predictable-formation-eagles-redskins-lesean-mccoy-chip-kelly

Glad someone read this Ringer piece closely for an article idea! https://www.theringer.com/2017/4/7/16037548/what-is-the-internets-best-ratings-system-6e9926489ad2

You’re a Rich Hill, and you’ve gone too far/ ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway/ You can rely on the old man’s money/ It’s a bitch, Hill, but it’s gone too far/ ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway/ Say money but it won’t get you too far/ Get you too far

“Gone amok” and “run completely away from them”- bit redundant, no?

This book desperately grabs you by the shoulders and screams “See how cool I am! This is funny! This is hip!” It’s like a chatbot that’s been fed an 80's almanac.

“Most recent Xavier March Madness flameout”? I think you mean “run to the Elite Eight by knocking off three consecutive higher seeds” ....MICHAEL.