Ahahahaha, of course there will be panic buying if gas prices are allowed to spike. If gas is up to $4 now, and you’re worried it’s going to go to $20/gallon, aren’t you going to run out and do all sorts of crazy shit just the same?

Et tu fais, crawfish?

Oh yeah...

This layout isn’t new. It’s “his signature defensive highlight, a full-speed, full-extension, no-regard-for-human-life dive into the gap to take away extra bases.”

I appreciate that you also state the niceness of a Kroger when referring to one. There is no middle ground with Kroger, they are either nice or complete trash castles.

Better idea:

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last year at 51. Having the sleep apparatus has me waking up chipper and clearheaded after eight hours in bed/7 hours of sleep vs 9 hours in bed/4 hours sleep. I have lost 11 pounds, my cholesterol is down to a healthy level. It’s been a game changer. If you have a loved one who snores…

In other news, the speeding ticket I received a few weeks ago is the fault of the cops who caught me. I will never grace that road with my exalted presence again. NEVER, I say!!

This has got to really piss Brandon Phillips off.

I’m fairly certain had I had the same amount I would have imagined myself saying that as I lay face down on the sidewalk unable to walk.

This is very good advice, but I wonder...why are some of us this way? Is it something we’re born with? The result of some traumatic incident in childhood? I’d really like to know.

I used to sell them.

What percentage of people masturbate for the last time realizing they are doing so?

I pity whoever wakes up next to James Harden, because there is not an inch of that bed that he didn’t shit all over.

I liked that time he forced a better shortstop to play third base for the rest of his career.

While admittedly crude by today’s standards, the Derek Jeter Herpes Tree is still my favorite Jeets moment

Great effort in Dodgers slash fiction. A selection:

Airlines don’t really care if your previous job was at an ultra low cost carrier or not, they look at your individual merits. Many of Spirits pilots are not flying for Spirit because the others didn’t want them, but rather at the time they were looking for a job Spirit was the only ones hiring as the majors were…

Only 80 more payments left........

RESPE6T