Bear in mind that over the terrain this is designed for, 500bhp is not going to get you anywhere near 200mph just because of the shear rolling resistance, never mind how rough it is. You might manage 150, on a flat bit of hard pack.

Why on earth is a 911 an unlikely rally car?

It’s got a heavy rear weight distrubtion over the two driving wheels, light front end helps to lift the chassis over the harshest impacts, it has lots of suspension travel, a stable aero platform with a rearward CoP and the drivetrain lends itself to lots more suspension…

Two half days? If I couldn’t drive that car faster and smoother than that within 10 minutes of jumping in it, I’d take myself outside and have myself shot.

I don’t know what’s more scary, the fact he drives like that around other people, or the fact that he believes that’s a GOOD way to drive around other people.

Strap them in:

He’s also going to be the nail in the coffin for this iteration of Top Gear.

I always say that if the filler is more than 1mm thick, or you can see less than 75% of the metal when you’ve sanded back smooth, then the panel needs more work, not more filler.
However, that picture is definately impressive. That’s like bodyfiller art.
I wonder if they could have chipped the car away from underneath…

All tow straps are elastic. Just in varying amounts.

The little boy is in trouble for helping his mom, but it’s okay for these vapid morons watching to not step in and break it up. Sure, lets chastise the little kid whilst standing here watching his mum in a fight.
Those watching are as bad as the morons on the floor.

How about we go for the full house of...
3 wheels:

I really screwed up my conversion to the Posh Beetle, ended up with this:

We built a complete spaceframed Safari car for a customer on a tight deadline, had the dyno booked for mapping the day after we were putting all the hydraulic and water lines in for the engine, primed everything, got all the bulkheads, trim, seats, etc, in, sat and did a basic base map to fire up on and it fired up…

“I didn’t see it!”
“It’s a 60 ton tank, you’re never getting a licence, ever”

Yes, some of the dealer ‘kerb weights’ for new Audi’s are rather, well, optimistic, shall we say.....

Now that you mention it, that should be standard fit to all cars.

There is something just inexplicably god-damned fun about hooning off roaders around on trackdays, it needs to become a thing. It’s not just driving it, everyone who see’s it will have laughed at that Hummer going around.

I do have a slight travel advantage :P

Watching that, I’d bet my little 2wd with an open diff can manage it.

See, told you that would be his next excuse.

You do realise the URL and data is stripped by the site, right?

Well, yes, but lets face it, you don’t really need to fabricate or make anything to fix a ferrari, just replace the broken bits, which is generally just bolts, seals and maybe an engine lift.

For anyone else reading this crap, apologies for wasting your time. As you may have gathered, I am indeed a bit of a dick. However, at least I’m a dick that knows what he’s talking about.
Of course, if you’re in the market for a producer that can sign bits of paper, mister uncleduke here seems to be good at it, but…