Wait, there’s a SOUTH Dakota?

I played for a guy just like this back in high school. We got worse instead of better, however, and he got arrested for having sex with a student.

Sure, but when I approached De Niro to talk about the inaccuracies in Rocky and Bullwinkle, he just yelled at me!

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced, because they choked to death on shoddy Chinese-manufactured fast food giveaway toys.

If Isabella Soprano comes back I’d be spending a lot of time in the box.

Does this mean HBO is bringing back Real Sex?

Ray Wise really tied RoboCop together.

I know a certain coach in Washington DC who can grab his bindle and make it down to Atlanta as soon as he can hop on a moving freight train.

I’d ask where Eugene Robinson is but I’m not sure I want the answer.

For what it’s worth I knew him back in his Exotic Birds days and he was pretty cool back then too.

Well now there’s one less bowl game to snub the Alabama of Northwestern Ohio, Bowling Green State University.

Yeah well I came for Green Lantern and I left unsatisfied.

Yes but how was she treated in the set of Life Goes On?

It puts the lotion on its phone or else it gets the hose.

So you can get a medal for completing the last obstacle in the American Ninja Warrior course now. Sounds cool.

Who plays Benny Hill?

I refuse to believe that the “Chargers” are an actual NFL team. They’re some kind of a tax dodge or contractual obligation, like that Fantastic Four movie that was made for ten bucks to prevent the studio’s option from expiring.

“Goddamn it honey, did you borrow money from Shaggy AGAIN?”

C’mon Joe, he’s not dead. I’m going to assume he’s still a good husband and father, if he was before last night.

Well he’s already got a record for pirating movies, so this just seems like the next logical step.