This only going to make it worse when the Hound actually bites it.

Eh, call me when they bring back Intellivision.

Hey, Milo Yabbadabbadoopolis or whatever your name is, try and keep it in your pants, will you?

THEY NEVER HAD THE SAME NAME ONE WAS THE ROUGHRIDERS ONE WAS THE ROUGH RIDERS YOU GO TO HELL

You're Jesus, man. Can't you just take that quart Zip-Loc bag and, like, smoke up an entire Phish concert?

Oh c'mon, it doesn't take a ton of acting ability to abuse the shit out of Miles Teller for two hours.

If you mix pruno and sand and apply it to a piece of notebook paper, it serves as a crude kind of two-sided tape.

I saw Harold Perrineau in something and it threw me off that he was walking upright.

Get Peter Boyle's agent on the phone stat!

I'm embarrassed to admit that I like the jambalaya.

Streetsboro is home to the Maple Leaf Classic, one of the most prestigious youth softball tournaments in Northeastern Ohio. My daughter's team took second place last year.

Natalie Merchant will cut a bitch (with a free trade gluten-free knife forged at a women's ethnically diverse commune, but still).

KEEP AMERICAN JOBS IN AMERICA!! WE'RE GONNA BUILD A WALL AND MAKE QUEBEC PAY FOR IT!!

Finally, the not-so-gritty remake of Ali G In Da House for which I've been longing.

My plan to bring back cassingles inches ever closer to fruition.

Gene Simmons now thinks you owe him 12 dollars.

I appeared in front of the Supreme Court a few years ago, and both Alito and Ginsburg dozed off during the proceedings.

When I turned 40 someone asked me how it felt to be middle aged, and I told them that I couldn't bear the thought that I might still have 40 more years left.

At strip clubs.

I can already see that at any strip club located out by any airport in America.