A bit disappointed in Jalopnik lately. Recently it’s been less about automotive news and more about glorifying morons doing this shit, driving 197 on public roads, and ripping off old ladies. Wtf Jalopnik?

Yikes. Dude straight ripped off an old lady. 

Kristen, thank you. I AM an asshole, and I’ve no problem being the grammar Nazi, but it’s quite tiring. For your next installment, may I suggest a few paragraphs on lose/loose?

Well where I live mopeds are street legal as long as they don’t exceed a certain engine size. And electric or not a moped is a moped. A Tesla isn’t any less of a car just because it’s electric. Ebike sounds very modern and hip, but it’s still just a damn moped with an electric motor instead of gas.

Ahem. They're called "mopeds" and they've existed for decades. 

1970 429 CJ Torino fastback. They traded it in on a 1980 Pinto wagon in 1980. Seriously. 

Wow. Do you need a hug?

You have heard about the new divorced Barbie haven’t you? She comes complete with all of Ken's stuff.

Wow. That’s not pink, it’s Pank. And I don’t know why, but it works. My daughter loves it, and I’m pretty secure in myself. I'd lose the rhinestones, but leave the rest and cruise it. I could introduce myself as Ken and say it was the only thing Barbie didn't keep in the divorce. 

No offense brother but if I come to NYC to be a tourist, a tourist I shall be. I don't want to spend my energy trying to navigate around, I'm here to see the sights and get the hell out. Besides, why should the Ubers bother you? You took the subway and walked ten minutes in winter weather, right? Or is that just for…

Airports have always had a lot of liveries parked outside. They're just not yellow now. 

Um, there’s traffic and cities and stuff west of the Mississippi too...

Forgive me for being a party pooper, but we’ve all read here about how street racing is bad, ect. These dudes hit 193 mph on public roads? One hundred and NINETY THREE. Aren’t we being just a tad hypocritical celebrating this? In all honesty they should never be allowed to drive anything, anywhere; ever again.

NYC banned 4 Loko? Egads.

Now I'm awaiting David Tracy news. My productivity for the day is gone. 

This looks nothing like a Cobra. 

I would think that not maintaining and commuting between two residences for the sole purpose of attending one class would be the place to start. 

Couple of things. First off, I’m not a Boomer, I’m an apathetic Gen-X slacker who doesn’t give a fuck. So let’s just be clear on that okay? Secondly, it’s not that everything on your list “rarely” fails, it’s that they WILL fail eventually. Cars are lasting longer and longer now. if the car’s accessories aren’t going…

A "J turn?" The "Rockford?" No... It's a reverse 180. Now turn the music down and get off the damn lawn. 

“Chadwick?” Fuck that guy on that alone, and his father for naming his kid “Chadwick.”