Jesus I want out of this country. 

If she ends up anchoring the 6 o’clock news at some podunk station owned by Sinclair Broadcasting in a second- or third-tier market, I will never stop laughing.

This likely isn’t what you’re seeking, but to your initial point: Halloween in New York is mostly a miserable experience, not unlike Santa-Con, of sidewalks filled with drunk twentysomethings, guys who make the least effort possible costume-wise and girls who wear some version of slutty fill-in-the-blank all doing…

I’m so happy that Midweek Madness is back, because good gosh almighty I enjoy the diversion from all the horrific crap that’s in, you know, the actual news …

Channeling Kardashian, definitely. Do Not Congratulate.

That stone looks larger than three carats; a shallow cut, perhaps? Common when you want a stone to look larger than it is … 

My mom and I just had the biggest fight we’ve ever had, and it was about all of this. We’re currently not speaking. I’m so sad about it, but I honestly just can’t take it anymore. The obsessive Fox News viewing. The Facebook posts. The videos she’ll watch on her phone in the morning from his rallies. The hate that…

Jesus, can you even imagine her in any of the scenarios in which we’ve seen Nikki Haley? Dead-Eyed Barbie would simply be too excruciating to watch. If he even tries it, that just may be the thing that sends me over the edge.

Watch the world’s most famous golddigger and monster-husband apologist bemoan the idea that she’s the most bullied person in the world? No, thanks, I’d rather stick needles in my eyes. 

Watching pretty much every Woody Allen film is now only creepy. Some more than others, of course, Manhattan (a film I once stupidly revered) being the prime example. No thanks.

I plan on wearing my pink pussy hat, thanks. Maybe with a red dress. 

I’m wondering if maybe we also could get the Rockettes out in front of Trump Tower for this celebration. Either we could GoFundMe for an hour of their time, or there’s a good chance he’s likely said something awful about them over the years, and they’d donate their services for free. 

Hahaha, what a great idea. It would sell out in seconds. Especially if it takes place right in front of Trump Tower, which is where you will find me. Same for when he’s led away in handcuffs. I have honestly never loathed someone as much as this putz. 

I will dance and sing when he dies. By god I will. With utter glee. What a miserable asshole. 

I’ve gone to a place called, appropriately enough, It’s Easy in Rockefeller Center. They’ve been there for years, and their name is accurate; the process is effortless. They also take photos there. If you don’t mind paying the extra fees for someone to basically stand in line and process the papers for you, it’s…

That’s what I meant — I know the BBC isn’t carrying it, and I’m not sure I understand why. What are they running on a Saturday that would garner bigger ratings? And sure, they have to put a whole extra crew on instead of, I don’t know, a marathon of Doctor Who, but even a smaller-scale production would draw eyeballs,…

Sooooo, are we gonna be able to watch the wedding online, at least? I would totally watch, and maybe the BBC is severely underestimating the viewership? I mean, fine, it’s not Kate and Wills or Harry and Meghan, but it’s gotta be a bigger audience than they might normally garner on that day and time? 

My family isn’t very large. As angry as I am, I won’t turn my back on them. Not right now. There is a line, and I know what it is, but until then I will indeed continue to suck it up, as I’ve said. I both hold my tongue and tell them to change the subject or I’ll leave the room. Most of the time, they acquiesce and do…

There’s actually history in my family of this bullshit. It didn’t happen to me, but I have another family member I know it happened to, and the person who did it is long dead. I heard about it as a kid, and shit did it do a number on me to know what was done to someone I love. And I know my mom knows about it also,…

My mom and I had an argument last night about the patriarchal society, and her somewhat nasty attitude included telling me she just thinks I’m just being “a liberal” about the whole thing. Of course she doesn’t mean this as a compliment. This asshole is going to get confirmed tomorrow. Next week is my mom’s birthday,…