He’s afraid of aging. Xenu won’t like it.

Wow, Tom, baby. The fillers? Just say no.

I know how this is going to sound, but I don’t care and I’m going to say it anyway: I am not sure that I believe the jobs report. I think this administration is so corrupt that they will fudge every number to make themselves look good. Think about it: He called Obama’s unemployment figures fake all the goddamn time.…

The more I look at it the more it seems like two halves of her body pasted together.

You guys missed the story of the douchebag publisher of DuJour magazine being interviewed the other day by Wolf Blitzer about Dennis Rodman and North Korea. Go in search of that, it’s beyond ridiculous.

On the one hand, this is infuriating and disgusting to the point of criminal. These assholes are basically saying they’re willing to be complicit in murder via lack of access to healthcare in order to get their way.

Apparently it’s with her integrity, which is non-existent.

Also — also! — her suprasternal notch, also known as the jugular notch (thanks, Wikipedia!), doesn’t that seem awfully low? Did they lengthen her neck? The mind reels!

Seriously, and underneath her camera-right arm, there’s a seam for the dress — but is that a side seam or a dart? Either way, horribly placed! If a side seam, then why isn’t it, you know, on the side? If a dart, then how is that supposed to define the shape of the dress or her breasts?!?

Let’s take a moment to revel in the bad Photoshop of her cover photo, namely: What in the ever-loving heck is going on with the camera-right side of her body? If her right leg is ostensibly crossed over her left leg, then why does what looks like it should be her leg just kind of extend down in a flat way like that?…

Is this somehow connected to Ryan partnering up with Kelly? Because that’s also an ABC production show. Didn’t Ryan become an Idol producer? Wonder if that stipulation was part of his Live negotiations …

I’m thinking that instead of a protest that ends at Trump Tower, we organize one that ends at Susan’s ritzy apartment building, and ALL the signs say, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, SUSAN SARANDON!”

This is a screen-capture of the Louboutins that Elle Fanning wore to an after-party last night. Someone’s got to tell me: Can you walk in shoes that are too big? I can’t, and this is always what springs to mind when I see actresses on the red carpet in shoes that are clearly too big for their feet …

Carly Steel was accredited press last night, which is why she was first on the carpet. She was in the holding pen with the rest of us. Gotta give it to her, she probably got a lot of celebs to wander over her way by wearing that oh-mighty-Isis thing on her head …

She does wear Chanel every year. It’s her thing. Hostess-prerogative, I guess?

He always does this IDGAF thing. Last year he wore a bathrobe to a Chanel event. A freaking bathrobe. Eyeroll.

I want to support this but she looks like she is wearing lots and lots of giant, not-inflated balloons.

It’s Coach! Is Coach cool again? If so, I have definitely missed that memo.

So the rumor is she had a thing with Julian Edelman — and then Julian Edelman was on the carpet last night!!!! I want to believe this so hard, because Brady is a Trump-supporting asshole.

I can’t watch the complete video because I know I will be crying three seconds in and it won’t stop. Class act all the way, but most especially when looking in the rear-view mirror while dealing with the orange shitstain we have now.