I don't know why these people can't just post anonymous pictures of their genitals on the internet like the rest of us.

Roger Miller's story is why I always overtip for delivery. I get pizza so hot I can't even eat it yet, and the Indian place sends a free dessert every time. Mmmm mango mousse. I don't get why anyone would be shitty to the person who is saving me from having to cook and wash dishes.

If one more person tells me the history of "St. Louis Bread Co." I am going to explode. You think I don't know? I know. I know more than you think I know. I know this fact so well that it is engrained in my brain for eternity. I could get severe memory loss, forget my name and the names of my siblings, but I would…

I do not have an answer for this phenomenon. Maybe Stan Musial really liked black olives so this is their way of memorializing him? That's the only answer I can think of. Nothing like washing down 100 black olives with an ice cold Budweiser while sitting under the Arch am I right?

Maybe you can help with something else about St. Louis pizza I find confusing.

My family and I moved to St. Louis when my dad got a different job and the first night we moved in, we ordered Imo's pizza which is the go to place for "St. Louis style pizza." Imagine eating really sweet tomato sauce on a cracker with plastic glue cheese melted on top and you have St. Louis pizza. Our first…

Remember before the Internet when people just fucking proposed with a goddamn ring in a champagne glass/piece of chocolate cake/etc.?

Can I mention how lucky I am to have a man who made me wait at a spot at Glacier National Park for 5 minutes for 4 other people to leave in order to ask me, quietly, to marry him. No videos, no cameras, no audience. I am lucky.

My husband, not overly sentimental, says to me on Sunday "Aww, did you see that latest proposal video? It's cute."

Before I start, let me say I was a server for a decade, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for all service employees. But this story has become legendary in my family, so: Mr. Tigger and I moved for his job from the East Bay Area in CA to Austin, Texas. On our first date night after moving, we went out to…

*sips skinny whole-milk nonalcoholic Irish macchiato* from their monogrammed thermos

Ugh, some of these employees have so much attitude. If you're unwilling to do things just because they're logically impossible, maybe customer service isn't for you.

You can't come for Beyonce on a Kara post. She Stans for this woman like she's on payroll.

Whatever about Kim. Saying that she actively hates all women is stupid as hell and you know it.

I like to describe shade, when done well, as a single drop of poison in a jar of honey. It is the insult you THINK you've been given but can never be quite sure of.